Single again…

Samantha ended our relationship yesterday morning. I am sad.

I certainly would not have come to the US if I had known this was going to happen. This must be one of the most expensive dumpings of all time. I am trying to find out if I can leave on a much earlier flight, if not I will need to stay in a hotel, as Sam has given me until tomorrow to ‘sort something out’. She has offered to pay for my flight home, but at about $3200 USD I couldn’t let her pay that much money. I have found a hotel that has rooms at $30 USD per night and I may have to use the money my parents gave me to buy Sam a Christmas present from them for the hotel.

The only problem is that I have a shitload of work to do and I do not really have access to a computer in Pittsburgh if I am not at Sam’s place. So if I do move into a hotel I am going to have to, for example, write out my CSAA conference paper by hand (CSAA conference coming up in early December). I am going to try to finish transcribing the Getaway in Stockholm interview this evening as that has to be sent off to the dudes at Autosalon magazine and it needs to be typed/emailed. I am glad I function well in times of crisis; it is a skill learnt through all those times I have blown up or destroyed engines/transmissions or crashed my cars. If I am not dead, then I have nothing to worry about, because life goes on and all that bullshit.

Sam and I just became too different from what the other was expecting (allegedly). I am far too ‘strong’ a person (allegedly). She says she still wants to love me, but not in an intimate way; that we are ‘best friends’. I say fuck that, I reckon she doesn’t want to be with me anymore just because I have put on weight and am now fat. Fair enough.

After I have left Pittsburgh I am never going to see her again. You see, I still have a place in my heart for her, except now instead of filling with love everytime we speak or see each other, it fills with a void of excruciating pain. I love with incredible devotion, but I am equally intense with all my other feelings, and in the context of my relationship with Sam that intensity needs to be depotentialised for my own sanity.

Goodluck to her in the future.

Leaving Sweden…

The thought of going through US customs terrifies me. A quick calculation comes up with the rough figure of one polemic per week posted somewhere on the Net denouncing the current Refrain of the Right-eous… Am I going to get totally reamed in customs? Has my name appeared on some terror squad hitlist? And I don’t mean the wannabe hard-core rappers either.

It would be totally cool to be able to do a (formally known as) Cat Stevens (I can’t type his current name as this keyboard was made in the US and they have removed the keys that enable you to type Islamic names). Like, I would have to change my PhD topic over night, and imagine the stories I could tell at the next Cultural Studies conference!?!?! But would Australia even let me back in? Surely if Big Brother doesn’t want me to visit, then the US-Simulacra Number 2 (formally known as Australia) certainly won’t want me back. Where am I going to buy my prepackaged, preseasoned roo meat from? I might have to come back to Sweden, at least here they were spun out by my Getaway in Stockholm presentation and Stockholm is known as the street racing capital of the world (oh, sidenote, the big secret from a while ago was that I had organised and have now carried out an interview with one of the producers and makers of the Getaway in Stockholm series of films!).

Hopefully the next time I post, I am typing from a keyboard in Sam’s place.

Very excited!

‘Sequels’ paper

The paper is ‘finished’. By that I mean it has been submitted for the PhD level course I am doing in Sweden. I realised my paper was testing the internal thresholds of the ‘essay’ medium in its attempted becoming-book. I had to discipline it through a code of spatialised scholarly convention. My argument was not going to spill from my pages into others. It was to be trapped!!!!

HU HA HAHAAHAHAhahahah HUHAHAHAhahahaha HUAHAHAhahahahah… [that was an evil laugh]

Anyway… so I have all these other examples that I have started on and could easily be turned into chapter length pieces, for example, one is on Pulp Fiction and the other is on the Matrix frachise (in both I explore sequel as repeated simulacra, albeit in different ways). I treat them both to the hot light of my ‘sequel’ interrogative methodology. Then there is a chapter on the political economy of enthusiasm (that I am going to have to write for my thesis), perhaps this can be my back burner project throughout my thesis. Some of the ideas are very similar. Plus it allows me to explore concepts in a different milieu.

I have contacted a few journals to see if there is any interest in publishing it. It is something of a mongrel paper, not quite cinema studies and not quite philosocultstuds, there is even a becoming-political economy about it, too. I am feeling very tired just thinking about it. Below is a copy of the email I sent off to one journal:

Dear editorial collective,

I am enquiring about the possibility of submitting a paper for submission. The problem is I have very little experience in the ‘cinema’ field. The only thing I have had published remotely related to cinema is an article I wrote for Street Machine magazine on the 100 Best Car Movies of All Time (the top five were selected by readers). I can send you a first draft of this if you like, although the published version and my initial version are quite different in some aspects. The paper was written for a PhD level course on ‘Mediated Cultures’ I am taking in Sweden as I am here on exchange. In some respects my article is a response to having to ‘deal’ with media in my thesis. My PhD thesis is on modified-car culture. I also have an interview with Mr A, the executive producer of the Getaway in Stockholm series of films, soon to be published in Autosalon magazine. Meeting up with one of the makers of GiS was a central reason for coming to Sweden.
Needless to say the sequels paper is more of a hoon understanding of cinema than a cinephile understanding (if that at all makes sense). I found the ‘problem’ of the sequel very intriguing and something that has not really been dealt with in the current cinema literature. I outline what is at stake for fans of film series and the ‘Hollwood cinema machine’ that makes them. I am not sure what to do with the paper, but I think it is at least worth finding out if you might be interested. Below are the title and abstract details.
Glen Fuller.

Title: movie sequels, movie events and the political economy of enthusiasm

Abstract: This paper is written in response to fan backlash against the Alien vs Predator movie. I explore the conundrum of the ‘inferiority of the blockbuster sequel’. The contemporary state of Hollywood cinema allows for and indeed encourages the production of sequels due to the emergence of the movie as ‘media event’: the blockbuster. The ‘blockbuster’ is defined in terms of how it is and is not what Dayan Katz and Elihu Katz’s call a ‘media event’. The specific problem for fans and the Hollywood cinema machine is the period between the ‘original’ movie-event and the ‘sequel’ movie-event. There is an affective momentum building/manipulation process associated with this in-between period and it is explored using the conceptualised tools of anticipation and expectation. The relationship between fan-based enthusiasm and what Jonathan Beller calls the Cinematic Mode of Production is explored in relation to the specific role of ‘desire’. The Hollwood cinema machine and the enthusiasm of fans have different stakes in the problem of the sequel. The Spiderman franchise is offered and explored as an example of the successful blockbuster sequel.

I am not sure how this will ‘fly’ with editors of a cinema journal… Also, I have sent a copy to the guy I was arguing with on IMDb message boards about the Alien vs Predator film. I stick the boot (book?) into Paul W.S. Anderson in this article. I am not sure if he was to ever read the paper he would actually understand what I am talking about (that is not a slight against his intelligence, it is just my argument draws on so-called ‘high theory’ that requires extensive reading just to get a grasp of it).

very tired… need some food… fuck, Pimp My Ride is on tonight… new series! very tired…