The Birth of a Monster: Eye, Spit, Laugh, #2

Jean hits on an interesting theory. I decided to do a little in(ternet)vestigation. 

In high school (Ridgemont High) he had some fast times as a ‘bud stoner’:


Then he gets hauled off by some Nazi’s who run a fuckin stupid backwater right-wing religious-zealot state in the US by accidently getting caught walking around town in some low-rider Levi’s with his g-string showing:

After some severe brain washing (continual loops of Jerry Springer, Oprah and Sesame Street episodes) while in prison…

…he attempts to resist their extreme right-wing stupidity by going Jesus/Achey-Breaky-Heart-mode like most other idiot Americans:

Then he begins sucking a lot of moneyed mon-eye at treefiddy a blow (he started off doing it for free because he liked it, which is cool, but then he realised that he’s got a mean vacuum of a mouth and he could make those daddies pant):

He eats too many late-night kebabs after drinking binges stemming from his innate self-hatred and inability to be at peace with the world. He ultimately fails as a human being by becoming the columnist-cum-right-wing/Howard-apologist we all know and hate: