order-words of sexing?

I am certainly no expect on these matters, but Mel‘s recent post on the matter and various reader’s comments to her blog have got me thinking.

It seems as if the rhythm of relations seems to pass through many phase spaces. There is an immediate reorganisation of bodies and their hapticity (is that a word? haha). Verbal, silence, and sensical, but indeterminate moans. Light, darkness, seeing in the dark. Sober, drunk, clarity of purpose. Standing, sitting, reclining, laying, sexing. Touch me, touch you, being touched, indeterminate touching.

Each transition is premised on a flow of energy that reaches ‘fever pitch’. Maybe libido, maybe revenge, maybe collapsed upon the self as a relation of narcissistic enabled masturbation. Respective errogeneous zones cannot handle to be ‘blocked’. Arms open, as do mouths, bodily fluids begin to flow, tongues escape from mouths, ears escape into mouths, fingers and hands move across bodies in flowing caresses (or as rigid automata if sufficiently repressed!). Like electrons that have to jump to another energy level when excited — thus opening up the atom or molecule to other different reactions, connections and couplings — bodies seem to have to reorganise themselves according to the energy level…

Each jump (or ‘becoming’) produces a new playing field. haha. Literally. New areas to play with, to have played with, but new ‘rules’ of play. It is like Lawn Bowls becomes Hockey becomes Footy becomes a Mosh Pit. The ‘disorder’ of the Mosh Pit is still an organised chaos. Simple examples of thresholds are found in clothing, position and proximity of bodies, relation of those sexing to other people (public/private), vigor of interaction and so on. 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd based, home. I am not saying anything too fantastic… (but is there an outfield? “Out of left field”? Is that where it comes from?) Except there is no single set of rules, people who simply ‘run the bases’ are as boring as fuck (or, precisely, not). A number of guys I know do this. Admittedly, sometimes you (both+) just have to though…

Words and phrases used to describe low-level sexual activity project a rhythm and closure, that is, they define the boundaries or scale pertaining to the limits of rules of the relation. If sexing is a series of intensive thresholds that force the immanent reorganisation of bodies, then the words we use to ‘cut’ into this relative continuum of thresholds orders the process. From a simple, “Wanna fuck?” to the seemingly benign, “Wanna cuddle?” A limit is place (or not placed;) on the threshold(s) that will be tolerated. Sometimes when with and for some people certain thresholds are easier to remain at or surpass than others. Just to clarify… words do not only ‘cut’ into the world, they also produce the world. The content of “Let’s fuck” could be hot sex or a see-you-later. The order-word affects a change in the world that is immediate. The words themselves can excite or damn. The incorporeal transformation of something very corporeal. 🙂

It is apparent, of course, like any social text, the order-words of sexing can be used or engaged with in a tactical manner, that is, you should not be naïve! Ahh, yes, the extra-linguistic… or you can jump in eyes wide shut! haha…