holiday in the sun

i am stupid. i am so utterly stupidly stupid i can’t believe it.

i am glad i haven’t finished my PhD, or have it ready for submission, because if i had missed what i almost missed i would deserve to fucking fail it.

sometimes being a little bit smart is dangerous because you stop doing things that a normal person would do as it is sometimes easier to think yourself out of problems. however, being a scholar is not determined by how much you can think.

i am stupid, and feeling a little bit sick, and probably need a cry, but i am not sleeping until i have written enough to punish myself for being this stupid, because i can write my stupidity out, and go to fucking war against it, and get sinister with myself and my stupid little peanut brain. i really feel sick.

real stupidity jumps you like being on public transport only to suffer someone else’s surprise sneeze, it is an accident, and renders visible the contingencies of intellect. this is a bitter feeling.

(however, i am a little relieved i found what i did now, and not later, because later would’ve been beyond stupid into the terrain of something else truly scary.)

no 3:27 happy dances this morning, only coffee and war. and maybe a little charismatic insanity, but that would be sad (or the music).

EDIT: OK, so that reads like the blog post equivalent of an Imogen Heap song. It’s all good.

EDIT: 84,000 words.

Beers Without Borders

I am going to be late, get there for the last bit, as I have to work first!

From James Arvanitakis:

Hi everyone…

… and happy 2007!

Well, it is time for us to re-launch Beers without Borders (BWB) for 2007 – in a new year, a new venue and also a new night of the week.

The next BWB will be held on Thursday, 1 March 2007 at the Edinburgh Castle with details as follows:

Time: 5.30 pm to 9.30pm

Date: 1 March 2007

Location: Edinburgh Castle

Address: 294 Pitt St, Sydney (corner of Bathurst St).

The re-launch of BWB comes at an exciting time for a number of reasons. You may remember that the thinking behind BWB was both to begin conversations towards long-term social change, and to celebrate what everyone’s doing already. The looming federal and NSW state elections are reminders of how important these original goals remain.

The issues of climate change, David Hicks and the war on terror, Iraq, mandatory detention, water, education, health, debt, the gutting of the ABC and attack on media diversity, as well as the undermining of multiculturalism are all issues that we need to pursue.

In addition, this BWB will be a fundraiser for a new progressive think tank – the Centre for Policy Development. Everyone who signs up to join the Centre on the night will enter a draw to win cool prizes.

We ask you to come along and find out more about our plans and, as always, enjoy the company of other people who are concerned about the direction this country is taking. Remember BWB runs on the Amway principle – bring two friends (and ask them to bring two friends), and together we’ll change politics (and maybe drink the pub dry).

Elizabeth Jolley

One of my old creative writing lecturers, Elizabeth Jolley, died this morning.

I didn’t know her writing work much at all. I think I was from the wrong generation. But I had her as a lecturer for the same class three semesters in a row because I kept having to pull out of it or whatever. We read a bad translation of Medea that had early 20thC English expressions throughout it (i.e. ‘by golly’ ‘dear god’, etc). She was a pretty harsh marker. Plus, her ‘old lady’ performance was total bullshit.

Stallone: Actor Network Theorist?

Stallone in Sydney for Rocky Balboa opening:

“Everything you can do wrong, I did. I started to believe that I was this superior person and I was entitled to everything. You may have the ability to write or act, but it’s just a personal strength: it doesn’t make you any better than anybody else.

“You can’t make a movie without the electrician, make-up artist and transportation guys.

“Looking at the guy driving the truck and thinking you’re better than him because you’re the big actor – guess what? If he doesn’t drive that truck, you could be sitting under a tree all alone waiting for the crew.”