What does it mean to miss someone?
According to Agamben, melancholia is the disposition or state of missing something without realising what the missing thing is or forgetting what it is or that even the state is one of missing something. However, I can locate my feeling of missingness, so I am not all Smashing Pumpkins.
Part of it is wanting to feel like I am missed. So a narcissism. But it is not as simple as that, because I want to ‘be with’ and want to be wanted to ‘be with’. ‘Be with’ is not so much the fetishistic lament for a lost objectified person. It is more about capacities for ‘being with’ shared across all parties, the two people sure, but also the networks to which they belong and the lives they lead. For the joy is discovering the spaces of opportunity within those lives and networks where we can ‘be with’. Here is some emo user-produced content from second life with Yellowcard’s Miles Apart.
‘Being with’ is a correspondence across at least two series of an aleatory element that communicates between series and with the world. If ‘being with’ is a correspondence of opportunity between series then it is also necessarily in communication with the world (ala romance). The individual series are being actualised now and so is the correspondence but in disjunctive ways. ‘Missing you’ demands a creativity to produce a correspondence across the series of series that constitute our respective networks. ‘Missing you’ is the creative process of figuring out how to ‘be with’ when when we are apart.
“I’m gonna be [500 miles]” video with lego men.